Truth

I know you are probably wondering why I haven't posted in a week.  So here goes...

In my last post I alluded to my daughter's health issues.   It has been a long week filled with blood work, dr visits, and answers that brought on more questions.  Why was she losing so much weight?  Was it her thyroid going crazy like mine?  Some other medical reason?  We both knew what the answer would probably be.  And we were right.  She is severely anemic and malnourished.  She has "disordered eating". 

Why on earth would I put this out there publicly?  Because after talking about it we both agreed that it shouldn't be a taboo subject.  Because lots of teenage girls (and even boys) use food to cope with stress or body image issues.  Our pediatrician referred us to a wonderful place called the Transformation Center for intensive outpatient therapy.  We had an appointment on Friday but they did not think K would be a good candidate for the program.  It is 9 hours a week of group  and individual therapy and nutrition that deals mostly with body image issues.  That's not where her problems stem from.  The doctor said the disordered eating is a secondary issue with anxiety being the primary.  She said half the program they offer would help but the other half really wouldn't so she would prefer we go for help elsewhere. 

By the time we got out of there Friday afternoon it was too late to call the insurance company or any other doctor's offices.  We had to muddle through the weekend and it was a rough one.  K is still not eating well and her body is weak.  It is difficult for her to stand for longer than a few minutes at a time and she is exhausted.  I am appropriately worried and anxious for my daughter.  Yes I have questioned how I didn't see this... how it got so bad without us realizing it.  That's not going to help her get better though so I've had my moment and now I'm in Mama Lion mode.  I haven't slept well in a week and I haven't been taking care of my dietary needs or exercise but right now she has to come first.  I'm trying to make smart choices but I don't have the time or energy to be gung ho about it right now.  

The good news is she WANTS to get better.  There are several sources of stress and anxiety that are causing her to not want to eat.  Thanks to the doctor we saw Friday, I am armed with the names and numbers of a good therapist and nutritionist that I will contact today.  Don's EAP (Employee Assistance Program) will be very helpful with the therapy costs which is a huge relief.  I visited with the school counselor on Friday (she hasn't been to school since last Tuesday) and she emailed all of K's teachers to let them know what was going on.  The one teacher we thought might be a problem is actually the one who has been the most compassionate and supportive.  It is painful for me to watch her try to eat and not get much down but we have hope now that she will get the right treatment.   Its not going to happen overnight.  We realize it will be a long road.  We are working on taking one moment at a time.   Prayers and well wishes are all welcome.  We need all the support we can get.  She really wanted to try and go back to school today but has been running fever so we will try again tomorrow.  

The huge blessing that has come from all of this is that ever since last Monday, I feel like I have my daughter back.  She still has her irritable moments but for the most part she has been very open, honest, and loving.  She has been strong and spunky (in attitude if not physically) and even has her faith back.  She knows she has all of our support and I will do everything I can to make sure she keeps feeling that circle of love around her.  I wish this hadn't happened of course but we are holding on to each other and working through it together. 

I've always like the Serenity Prayer but right now it has more meaning than ever... we all know the first part but did you know there is another verse? 

 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

One moment at a time.  Keep Going Kid, Keep going.   I'll be right here.